Hi everyone! Today I’ve invited Molly Franken to share about her work in finding new life in vulnerability and authenticity. I met Molly when I was early in my Lyme Disease journey, and her message in finding your voice and having the courage to speak your truths resonates with me. Part of Namaslay® YTT and the Personal Growth and Yoga Retreat we’re hosting in Italy this October focuses on the introspective work to overcome our limits and connect with what we need to be our best selves, so to bring these tools to more people, Molly and I are collaborating on next month’s exclusive program on the YBC® app. Stay tuned for details, and check out the great discounts Molly included for YBCers who could use some encouragement and guidance. xo- Candace
Hi, my name is Molly, and I am a Recovering Human. What am I recovering from? Life. Just like you, and you, and you. Oh, and you too, way in the back, trying to hide from your deepest truth. I see you. It's okay, we're going to talk about that.
Let's start here: We are all Recovering Humans.
Life has a way of knocking us about quite a bit. We don't get a say in the number of hits we take, their impact, or when they happen, but we do get a say in the way in which we handle each circumstance that comes hurdling towards us. Sometimes we handle it calmly and with grace, surprising even ourselves. Other times we stomp, scream and curse our way through it. Being human is hard because, well, life is hard.
Almost a decade ago, I fell ill with Lyme Disease. It sent me on a deep voyage of self exploration and personal development. When you're lying in bed, incapable of all the things you've ever previously known, forced to let go of all the truest things you thought you knew about yourself, it becomes painfully clear painfully fast that you don't know anything. You are at the ground zero of knowing. You know nothing. At all. Everything you thought you knew has been blown up, so you are sitting there attempting to pick up the blown to smithereens pieces of yourself, but they are dust, falling right through your fingers, over and over again. The harder you try, and the tighter you grasp onto this dust of your former self, the more painful the experience becomes. All that productivity you used to depend on to feel valuable? Gone. All that planning you used to do in order to be in control? Gone. All that armor that you wore and believed provided a perfect character in the narrative of your life? Gone. All that fierce independence that garnered great pride? Gone.
How many times does this happen to us in our lifetime? Illness. Death. Divorce. Loss. Breakups. Disconnections. Moves. Fill in the blank. We are constantly losing the identity of who we thought we were and re-discovering ourselves. I can tell you that it took a long time, even once my illness occurred, for me to realize that the tools and coping mechanisms I used throughout the entirety of my life were no longer going to fly. Believe me, I tried. I had fancied myself an intellectual. I could outsmart life. I could use these life hacks to feel less and do more. I could achieve success. I could be as close to perfect as possible. I could never let others see me sweat. I could be the strong friend. I could never ask for help. I could paint the picture. I could I could I could, and I did. But then, I could not.
In the past decade of being a Recovering Human, I learned that in order to truly live, I needed to recover my human. I needed to admit my vulnerability. I needed to ask for help. I needed to let people know I was flawed. I needed to drop the facade. I needed to, basically, admit defeat. I could not outsmart life. I had to live it. I was human.
The human condition is the one thing we all have in common. It is our universal unifier. The human condition is defined as 'part of being a person'. We are all living the human experience, and in that experience we get to decide if we are going to step towards and embrace our most human elements, or if we are going to flee them. How honest are we going to be with ourselves and with others? Are we going to allow our truest human selves to finally be seen?
All of these questions and all of this unearthing brought me to what is now my work. In stepping closer to my own human, I wanted to step closer to other humans. I am a coach. I don't love the word 'coach'. It feels masterful and all knowing. I am neither. I'm human, remember?
My practice focuses on three different areas that have all proven incredibly meaningful to me along the way. They may seem unrelated to some or they may feel incredibly related to others. They include the following:
Recovering Human, as you already know, is born from my own experience of having to let go of my identity armor in order to fully live again. It is about releasing all that has kept us from our human-ness in this life. No one will go through life without loss, grief or hardship. We are all touched by this, and we are all regularly recovering from what life has in store for us. As we are recovering from these transitions, many of us can step further away from our most core selves, in order to protect us from further pain or in an attempt to control the narrative of our story. It is when we step towards our human-ness, our fallibility and our vulnerability, the very things that make us human, that we are finally able to live freely. We are all Recovering Humans deserving of Recovering Human.
Conscious Boundary Work is a practice we are all learning every day. Where are my personal edges? How can I communicate my own needs and wants? How can I show up as my best self? Learning to stand in our own worth by setting healthy and conscious boundaries can provide a container of living in which we can thrive. I like to say that conscious boundaries ‘are not just about saying no, but about saying yes to all the things that matter most’. Boundaries enable us to show up as our best selves.
Chronic Illness Support is exactly as it sounds. I found it difficult to find support that resonated with me through conventional means of therapy when I first became ill. It didn’t feel like my therapists truly understood what I was feeling or experiencing, or even how to provide tangible coping mechanisms in the moment. Because this was lacking, I was left to my own devices, trying to maneuver through. That saying of ‘be the person you needed’ is exactly what brought me to this area of my practice. I want to provide those struggling with a chronic illness or long term health issue with a space of understanding and connection they can rely on.
My work is important to me. I offer multiple methods of connection, whether it's 1:1 support, groups and online programs, or DIY guides. My goal is to hold space for any person looking to step closer to themselves. I am your co-excavator, biggest cheerleader and human teammate.
If you are looking to recover your human, I want you to think about what you are most scared of people seeing. I want you to write it down. I want you to look at it, feel it, live with it for a little bit. We know you've been living with it on the inside for a long time now. Allow it to take up some space outside of you. Then, ask yourself if this fear is serving you. What would happen if you let it go? If you let it remain outside of you, no longer a part of who you are? What could life look like? Revel in that picture.
I hope my introduction today welcomes you to own the most beautifully flawed human pieces of yourself.
I am also hosting a group program that begins this coming Monday, July 22nd. It is called The Boundary Project and is an 8 week group program that dives into the Self and healthy & conscious boundaries. There is new curriculum weekly, live coaching calls, group support and accountability, healthy boundary building activities and more. I would love for you to join. You can read all about it here. As a thank you, I am providing the YBC community with a $100 discount code to join The Boundary Project.
That code is: CANDACE.
I would like to provide a 20% discount code for my offering, The Chronic Illness Care Kit, as well. It is a 15 day guide with daily affirmations, daily writing prompts, daily self care tips, book recommendations and guided meditations. You can learn more about it here.
That code is: CANDACE
Last, and certainly not least, I would love to provide a code for those interested in 1:1 work.
$25 off our initial consultation together.
That code is: CANDACE
I look forward to connecting more deeply with the YBC® community along the way and can’t wait to hear from all of you. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments.
Editor’s Note: Molly will be spearheading next month’s 30 Day Program on the YBC® App on boundaries. Download the App and opt-in so you don’t miss it!